December

It’s December. Although I don’t want it to be, December has come along just as quickly as October and November did; the third month since Terry died. Happiness doesn’t come naturally anymore. I never knew quite how naturally, effortlessly happy I was in my previous life, I took it for granted as many do. I floated along carefree and content until suddenly I wasn’t. I don’t mean to imply that happiness is impossible, but nowadays it takes effort on my part to search for it, grab it and hold on to the few moments of happiness that I can find. Fortunately, I’m a planner by nature. This December I am planning things that will make me happy.

The first thing I did was buy myself an advent calendar full of beauty products from You Beauty Discovery. Chocolate, I’ve got, but I can never have enough beauty products. The advent calendar is sizable:

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The advent calender proved a good investment when the first of December gave me a sample of my favorite cleanser by Liz Earle:

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Since then, I’ve received Laura Mercier foundation primer, Molton Brown shower gel, a full size Essie nail polish and today a Caudalie body lotion. The product sizes are generous and I look forward to the surprises every day.

Terry loved decorating our home for Christmas, so I thought that it might be nice to decorate our house in his honor. My father in law helped me get the Christmas decorations down, but as I opened the box and took them out I was overwhelmed by nostalgia and memories and sadness. The only decoration I could manage to put up was this one, ironically Terry’s least favorite, but one that I love:

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And so my house wine is decorated, I have a beauty surprise (and chocolate) every day to give me something nice and I will be attending two Christmas parties hosted by Widowed and Young locally to celebrate the best I can with others who are in the same position. I am ever so lucky that a friend from the states will be in town on business a few days next week and I will be able to catch up and have some good company to enjoy. And boy do I enjoy good company these days.

I do not expect December to be a happy month  and I do not expect to really celebrate anything much this holiday season, but I am giving myself every chance to have a few moments of happiness before I begin 2015: the first year without Terry in a decade. If you have any excellent ideas that I can adapt to add to my happiness this December, please share.

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